In
Raglan the pohutakawa are out in force,
the
surfers crowd the waters on Ocean Beach,
and
for the first time in decades elephant rocks
are
fully exposed, down to the letters of love
gouged
out a hundred years ago. I toss
a
handful of seashells into the wind; they reach
the
yellow foam of the breakers. Someone locks
his
childish dreams on the dunes, and will not move
again
until the tides wash them away.
I
take another handful of sand to test the wind,
And
all is flat and silent; only insects
And
tiny crabs scurry, while the distant bay
Awaits
the whales that never come. Who sinned
That
we are cursed today in all respects
With
sights and sounds that have no other meaning
Than
vague memories and indecipherable scheming?
I
let the black granules filter through my fingers
And
hope a flower grows where my grief lingers.
3. Aaron’s Laughter
I
still hear his voice up there screaming out in pain
no
longer coming down to chat and sip some tea
and
tell me jokes; now something in his brain
was
growing which made his life a misery.
When
he was gone and the house grew silent,
he
was there still, even as the years passed,
and
when too the house was gone I spent
long
hours listening for the jokes, but at last
I knew
that nothing was funny anymore:
his
wit was intellectual, his laughter deep,
He
taught me something secret. I am poor
now
and across too many oceans. I cannot weep
when
whole worlds have disappeared. The door
has
shut on that other place, the place of peaceful sleep.
4. Sun Fish Need No Hooks
How
clear the lakes were then. We could watch the fish
Dancing
round the strings we dipped into the water
And
wait for some to swallow the worms. I wish
There
were times and places like that now, but greater
Evils
swirl around our lives than anyone imagined
In
those dreamy unreal days, and none of us could see
What
lay ahead through the murky future. We pigeon-
Holed
our expectations foolishly.
Like
sunfish, we were caught without any hooks.
We
glided unreasonably towards the bait, were blind
To
the anglers on the little pier, read books,
Too
many with titles of naive hope. We were kind
Without
caution and dared not debate our choices.
When
we were caught, no one heard our voices.