Odd Sayings to Groan Over, No. 1

A Calendar of Jewish Puns

·       Tomorrow I shall eat a mole.

·       After the High Holidays comes succour.

·       On the Festival of Lights the near-do-wells will triumph.

·       Lot’s wife turned around for Purim but she was assaulted.

·       Lots of matzoh on Pesach until we can eat no maror.

·       I wish all the time the New Year would go fast.

·       Non-kosher meat is bloody awful and offal.

Into the Secular Saeculorum.

·       In vertigo there is not far to go.

·       When you feel awful eat falafel.

·       In France a charwoman is a lady who drives  tanks.

·       In France they keep their aquatic felines in a chåteau.

·       In France they rent pre-hatched chickens at an église

·       Pollywogs are optimistic foreigners,

·       Scallywags are clever fish.

·       A curmudgeon is a hardworking canine.

·       One who is cantankerous can’t thank us enough.

·       One who is dogmatic is barking up the wrong tree.

·       In Germany funny elevators operate in a Witzenschaft.

·       Scaramouche was a performer whose forte was frightening flies, and sometimes he would ride away quickly on his Harlequin.