Traditional Jewish Jokes & Anecdotes, No. 13

Bubbele Goes To School

Mrs Eisenberg  began to tell her son that he would be going to school very soon and to explain to him what fun it would be to play with other children and to learn many interesting things.

“Listen, Bubbele,” she would say, “you’ll make lots of friends, boys and girls,  And you’ll play with a ball, with big wooden brocks and sometimes the teacher will let you have a snack if you get hungry.”

Then another day she would tell him: “Nu, so Bubbele, when you get to the school, they will teach you from numbers and letters, you should do arithmetic and write me stories.  You will read a lot of books, some with pictures and some what don’t have, only words.”

As the big day came closer, she explained to him: “I will make for you, my Bubbele, a nice set of new pants and a shirt you can button all by yourself. You will be the handsomest boy in the whole class.”

Two days before he would start this new stage in his life, his mother gave her son a big hug.  “I have to tell you, Bubbele, when you go to the school where you are going, it will not only be Jewish boys and girls in your class..  You know what that means, Bubbele, it means you have to be very careful and polite and not say things it might hurt anyone’s feelings. Do exactly what the teacher tells you.  Play nicely with all the children.” 

The day before he would march off by himself to school, Mrs. Eisenberg sat her son on her lap, gave him a big kiss, and said: “Bubbele, when you come home, you will tell me what you did, what the teacher said to you, and how the other children treated you.  You can remember all that, Bubbele?  It’s very important.”

Then the Big Day.

“Well, Bubbele, this is the Big Day.  Today you start school.  Be a mensch, a regular human being and make the whole family proud from you.

”

And off he went.  All day Mrs. Eisenberg waited for the end of the day, for three o’clock when school ended.  The time came.  She stood out on the sidewalk in front of the house and waited.  Other children began to appear.  They passed by her and went into their own houses.  She waited.  Then she saw her son.  He walked slowly.

“Nu, nu, so what happened at school?” she asked as soon as he came within shouting distance.

He walked slowly to her.

“I am waiting,” she said.  “Tell your mamma what you learned today.”

He looked up at her.  He stamped his foot.

“I learned today that my name is not Bubbele.”