University of Pipi-Tipi-Woo-Hoo
THE DEPARTMENT OF POLITICALLY
ABSURD CULTURE[1]
INTERDISCIPLINARY COURSES (1976)[2]
08.104 The Clyde Dam[3]
Clearing away
the bull shit. Agreements never agreed
to. A study in government mismanagement
and judicial repression. Open to all
first year students.
17.322 University Administration
Designed for chemistry majors with a flair for radioactive sherry. This course will examine topics such as:
suppressing letters, hiring under false pretenses, investing salary funds
etc. Not suitable for political science
lecturers.
01.213 Cancer Labs as Lunch Rooms
How
to increase your body weight by training your cells to grow free, at the same
time as you study Goethe, Schiller and other Romantic poesy. A variety of metathesizing nodes of personal
growth. A must for all German and
journalism students.
98.213 The Papist-Masonic-Jewish Plot
Taught by trendy lefties, Palestinian guerrillas and Jansenist
mystics. This course will trace the long
history of al chemical intrigue that led up to the declaration of Western
Samoans as New Zealand citizens. Open to
all second rate students.
36.36X Basic Laziness
All
members of the university join in this special physical fatness program,
which will meet weekly in the library toilets.
No special preparation required.
Bring an awl to open notches in your belt.
77.777 How to
Close a Teachers College
Units in rumor, subterfuge and back-stabbing will be taught by a
panel of experts flown in on cancelled Air New Zealand flights to the South
Pole, including the Monster of Education, the Under-secretary of Price Gouging
and the Prime Minister’s ex-tea lady.
Closed to all students.
43.133 Enzymes
and the Empire
Fiscal
responsibility with a human face; eczema for fun and profit; neuro-surgery for
the backyard amateur. Essential for
psychology majors; may be substituted for any seven regular first year Deviant Psychology
Courses.
06.546 The Gran Chaco War
Jointly
taught by members of the department of Gherka studies and Hysterics. This course will deal with a blow by blow,
day by day, hillock by hillock account of the war that shook the world in the
1930s. Field trips, re-enactments,
casualties. Loads of fun. Bring a picnic lunch.
99.333 Normal
Occurrences
Here
physicists and philologists study everyday things. Find out why chalk dust makes you sneeze;
thrill to the revelations of how pencil sharpeners work; discover the mysteries
of whisper campaigns; and delight in the satisfaction of knowing how to make an
elevator work. For flunking graduate-students
in Business Studies only.
87.225 Making the Best of Your Overseas Leave
Not given in 1983, 1984, 1985 etc
[1] This was actually written more than 25 years ago, at a time when,
still somewhat youthful in my daring, I would leave copies around the tea-rooms
in the university for the delectation and shock of colleagues, who suspected
but never quite guessed who was doing it.
[2] Again I attempt to
update or at least explicate the nature of the intellectual and aesthetic
problems to be tackled in these spoof seminars.
[3] This was once a big
issue in New Zealand. Now it is all but
forgotten. But then both here in the
Antipodes and upstairs in the real world there are many more, equally contentious
if not more absurd projects to be studied.
Choose your own.
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